Thursday, January 26, 2006

We'll call her Stan... we'll call me Fed Up

Someone I used to consider a friend, (we'll call her Stan, (names have been changed to protect the innocent))I no longer do. I think our relationship started fading away at least 1.5 years ago. She used to take care of Isabel as an infant but when Isabel turned 1 yrs old I started having someone else take care of her. Let me just tell you it was the best decision ever. Isabel was a happier baby, and I was a happier mommy. (Never mix business and friendship....it doesn't work at least not for me). Anyways... needless to say we stopped hanging out. Not that I haven't tried to restore the friendship. She's made comments like "Tracy is my only friend" (she's your cousin, she has to like you)...that's strike number one Or when I say "Hey we haven't hung out in a while, we should get together" the reply was "WE don't hang out"....Ok strike two. Or the times when she's being Stan (Shoot that ain't nothing), you know always trying to one-up me on everything. It gets old.
So I've just stop talking to her altogether. I only talk to her when I need to,
other than that I don't even utter a "hi".

Do you know what's sad? We are both teachers in our church. And we are both acting like kids. Last night as I was leaving she was standing in the doorway, I said "excuse me" she moved and I passed through as I heard her say "Gosh I'm just standing in the doorway, relax"...

That did it. It's not like I said "Move! you're in my way"... all I said was "excuse me", I didn't shout, in fact it was in a very monotone voice.
Well she called and left a message saying "Hey wanted to talk to you to see if eveything is ok".... whatever

I asked my husband what should I do.. cause I'm not good at confronting people or being confronted. I either try to avoid the confrontation completely or if confronted I'm either very passive, won't say anything... or I go into complete attack mode.

He said I sould return the call, realizing that satan is at work, and would like nothing more to bring division in our church...
He's right, but I still don't want to call.

1 comment:

tammara said...

I can be completely objective about this, so I'm going to weigh in. Call, and act like there is absolutely nothing wrong. Be happy and carefree and yet not quite sure when you're open for "getting together." Clearly, getting together is not something you want to do - and for pete's sake - why should you have to. This is one of those friendships that is just never going to work. I think confrontation would be a horrible mistake - because it doesn't seem to bother her at all, but it isn't something you're comfortable with. You will end up feeling emotionally beat up. I wouldn't do it.

To keep Satan at bay, forgive her in your heart (as best you can - and you may need some help from above with that because she sounds like a nut), and give her what she wants - which is to think that she never did anything wrong. (Who cares, so long as you don't have to deal with her anymore on a too-personal level?)