Scenes from a horror movie

So, I'm not one to wear high heels or dresses for that matter. Heck come winter, I go on hiatus from shaving (TMI?). Either way it's starting to get warm, so I decided that I need to lady up a bit. Also since we are having to dress up at work now (yuk), I needed to buy some nice shoes for my khaki's and dress paints. I was on a mission. I bought two pairs of shoes, black and brown. Cute too. The only problem is that the "blacks ones" had a bit of a heel, which I am not used to wearning at all. If you know me, you would know that I wear my sketcher sandels, skecther boots and tennis shoes. That's it. So when I tried them on at the store, I said to myself, "Self, I think these will work"....Five hours later I'm showing them to my husband and became a little concernd when the words out of his mouth were "Are you sure you can wear those?"... Well the next day I wore the "black ones", a little tight, but maybe my feet were swollen. After about 2 hours, I was hurting. How can women wear these for 8 hours. Every chance I got I took them off under my desk. By the end of the day I could only walk for 2 minutes at a time. Torture, just plain torture. I've gotta go and buy me some flats.

This morning I was going to put on my sketcher sandals and thought I should probably paint my toe nails RED. I picked up the nail poish and started shaking it. Immediatly the top flew off and there was red finger nail polish on the side of my tub. Oops, hmmm funny I don't remember opening the bottle. Anyways I cleaned it as good as I could without finger nail polish. Then I looked in the mirror. Seeing that I had just gotten out of the shower, I had yet to put on a shirt. My chest look like some killer from a slasher movie had slashed me, and I had no finger nail polish remover to remove it. At this point. I don't know when I'll ever make it to the store to get some, it could be days. I hope it doesn't scare my husband.